Friday Fluff, March 2, 2012

If you’re new to the Jester Queen, every week, I participate in a meme in which grown women tackle absurd teenager issues, as phrased by the presumed teens themselves over on Quizopolis. Men can play, too, so Lance, get on board man. This week’s questions come from here. I link up with Lisa over at Seeking Elevation and if you head that way, you can pick up her answers, follow through to other fluffers’ links, and find out about her feral-haired daughter.

Normally, my quiz answers aim only to make you laugh yourself out of your chair. However, this week’s quiz is a little more serious, and I know I’ve acquired a couple of new readers since I migrated last week. Therefore, let me preface my quiz with a couple of warnings, since this is a little different than most of the content you’ll find on my blog.

1) I have a blue tongue. F-bombs explode from my mouth and onto my blog at a rate four times as fast as the growth of the national debt.  OK, that’s actually not any different from normal at all. But this week’s one nonfiction piece was pretty warm and fuzzy, so if you AREN’T used to my non-fiction, consider yourself warned.

2) I’m rampantly liberal. Again, not really any different, but I don’t typically engage in politics on Jester Queen.

If you disagree with me about these issues, feel free to tackle it in the comments. Be as caustic and sarcastic as you like (I’m probably setting myself up big time here, but I’m pretty damned caustic and sarcastic below, so I feel it’s only fair). I may or may not choose to respond to caustic sarcasm, mind, as I’ll assume you’re answering me tone for tone, and I don’t want to start a hate-war on my blog. But unless you engage in ethnic or homophobic slurs, I won’t delete you or be offended by you just because we don’t agree and you use the same attitude as me.

 Onward fluffers:

1) Do you think that gay marriage should be legal? 
Of course I do. I am an outspoken advocate of marriage equality.  Scott and I both support fairness, and I yearn for the day when people just refer to ‘marriage’ without qualifying straight from gay.

2) Do you think that gays should be allowed to seve in the military? 

No.  My GOD we can only assume that the missing letter in that word is ‘r’, and if we start allowing military people of any sexual orientation to start SEVERING things randomly…just think of the IMPLICATIONS. MY GOD I OPPOSE THIS.

If, perhaps, the missing ‘r’ falls before the ‘v’, on the other hand, then I support it wholeheartedly.

3) What do you think about people who don’t believe in god? 

I think I’ll psychoanalyze that question. The very fact that you ask it, and in such a loaded way, suggests that you do believe in god and that you are out there judging those who don’t. The word is ‘atheists’, though I think you might be allergic to such terminology. I wouldn’t want you to break out in hives, so be sure to take a Benadryl before you read my answer.  Ready? My answer: See 4.

4) Are you pro life or pro choice? 

This time you have at least chosen less loaded terminology, identifying both camps by their own chosen monikers. So I’ll over-analyze the monikers instead. The phrase ‘pro-life’ implies that anyone who supports abortion in any way is ‘anti-life’. There’s not much to parse about ‘pro-choice’, though I do see a lot of “it’s a child, not a choice” bumper stickers around here. I’m guessing that loaded answer tells you which group I support. In case not, read this article by Anne Lamott. (I’ve been dying to get me some Anne Lamott in this blog. She IS one of my personal Gods. Other than the people we respect and honor above all others, I am not sure whether or not there is a real God, though Lamott, who is Christian, would not share my opinion)

5) Do you think we should test on animals? 

I had some tests run on my dog just the other day! They all came back negative, thank God. He doesn’t have alarming worms, parvo, or even a stomach virus. Turns out, the problem was what I feared all along. He barfed all over the living room because he ate an entire box of Cheez-Itz including the cardboard when he got pissed off at me for waiting to feed him until I got back from picking up the kids the other day. I’d have been seriously worried if we hadn’t tested.

6) How do you feel about illegal immigration? 

For expediency’s sake, I’ll assume that you’re really asking about illegal immigration from Mexico. You could mean from other countries, but given the nature of the quiz, I really fucking doubt it.

We are ignorant fools in the United States. We take our own wealth for granted and forget that we live in better conditions than most of the world. In the 19th century, we invented nasty things like the Chinese Exclusion Act  because we were just dead sure the nation was going to be overrun by Chinese laborers.

Now, we’re paranoid about Mexicans taking over the country. Fuck. I say we scrub Emma Lazarus off the statue of liberty. Here. I’ll let The Bitch write the new plaque inscription.

The New Mother Teresa

Not like that Mother of generous fame
With withered face and open loving hands
Here at our sea-washed sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the lyingest beacon, and her name
Mother of Hypocrites. Her zombie hand
Glows world-wide false hope; her blank eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities fame.
“Stay back, you undeserving wretch,” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me instead your rich,
Your white people yearning for the free
Market. Let them come scratch that Wall Street itch.
Send not, the homeless tempest-tost to me,
I say, come only wealthy to this bitch.”

7) Do you think it is ethical to do stem cell research? 
The question exposes your ignorance, as it presumes that all stem-cell research is embryonic stem-cell research. It demonstrates no awareness of adult stem-cell research or  induced pluripotent stem-cell research.

And yes. Whichever of those three forms you are discussing, I do support it. But then, as established in question 4, I’m anti-Life to begin with.

8 ) Should be get rid of the death penalty? 

Oooh, Rasta time! Let’s set a laid back beat. With a

boom chicky-chicky-chick
da boom cha cha chicky-chik

… now everybody SING. Let me hear you SING!

Should be get rid of de deat’ penalty?
Should be? Ya, Mon, I tink, maybe so.
(Dat is all. You may stop singing now.)

Since I’m so anti-life, I probably ought to say ‘no’. However, my real answer is that it can’t go away soon enough. For me, the answer has less to do with economics (though that’s valid) than with horror. There are innocent people on death row. The Innocence Project  has established that. Has, in fact, saved a few. How can we consider ourselves a just people if we knowingly execute even one innocent person? I’m talking about people who were already living sentient beings here, and I do distinguish between that and embryos or fetuses.  I’m all in favor of revenge. But in this day and age, it is often completely impossible to be sure that you are carrying out your revenge on the right person. I suppose it was always impossible, but now it is even less so.  There is no just way to impose a death penalty with absolute certainty that only the guilty will die.

9) Is torture ever acceptable? 

No. Fuck no. Plain and simple.

10) Should the government have a say on our diets? 
Madame Syntax? Would you care to address this question while I go eat another Pop Tart?

Yes, Jester Queen, I’ll be happy to do so.

 Many students fail to appropriately use the term ‘on’. In spoken English, “on” frequently replaces other prepositions like ‘in’ and ‘about’.  However, this is not acceptable in written language. In this case, the appropriate wording would be “Should the government have a say about our diets?”  You’re welcome. Have you finished that Pop Tart yet, Jester?

Yes, thanks, I’ll take care of the next one

11) Should the alcoholic drinking age be increased or decreased? 

I would feel very uncomfortable stating an age at which it is acceptable for one to become an alcoholic. I would, in fact, propose that it is never a good idea.

12) Should cigarette smoking be banned?

In public places, yes. I grew up around secondhand smoke.  It still affects my breathing, even though I have not been consistently around it for over a decade now. A public ban wouldn’t have fixed my early problems, but it sure would limit them now.

Whew. That was some intense fluffing there. I’m thinking this week we got pretty hard core. Next week, we will return you to your regularly scheduled bullshit. In the interest of peace in the valley and such, I believe I’ll end with a warm fuzzy picture of Sam.

Warm Fuzzy

See what I did there? He is warm and the picture is fuzzy. I crack me up.


That’s it for now, people. Until next week, may the Fluff be with you.



About jesterqueen:
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.


Friday Fluff, March 2, 2012 — 16 Comments

  1. "Would you care to address this question while I go eat another Pop Tart?" ROTFLMAO – Na, ja, I was stumbling over this one myself since "diet" also refers to the meeting of political heads.

    I enjoyed the "New Mother Teresa" inscription.

  2. That was a more serious set of questions than the usual collection of teenage fluff! Where did the "have U ever kissed UR BFF's boyfriend?" questions go?

  3. Well… I have never addressed such questions/issues publicly, so let's give it a try. And then I'd be curious to see if I can be pigeonholed as a liberal, conservative, libertarian, or otherwise. (hopefully a free thinker?)

    1) Do you think that gay marriage should be legal? Yes.

    2) Do you think that gays should be allowed to seve in the military? If the 'r' falls before the 'v', then "Yes".

    3) What do you think about people who don’t believe in god?

    I don't — one way or the other. Believe or disbelieve. Interpret that however you'd like. 😉

    4) Are you pro life or pro choice? Go ahead and call me a "fence-rider"… I just don't believe the question can be framed in such a divisive manner. There are nuances here that I could write about for days. But not today.

    5) Do you think we should test on animals? Seeing how I eat animals… I feel it only fair that I recuse myself from this question.

    6) How do you feel about illegal immigration? For me, the key word is "illegal". I have a problem with that. Unfortunately, I don't have a solution. And yes, JesterQueen, we Americans are spoiled rotten.

    7) Do you think it is ethical to do stem cell research? Yes. See question #4.

    8) Should be get rid of the death penalty? Yes. Unless a family member of mine is harmed. Then I wish to reinstate the penalty and be the executioner. I want it both ways.

    9) Is torture ever acceptable? No. Unless… well… see question #8.

    10) Should the government have a say on our diets? Absolutely not!

    11) Should the alcoholic drinking age be increased or decreased? All drugs… yes, alcohol is a drug, should be decriminalized. I'm not endorsing nor condoning drug use, I just don't believe a person is a criminal because of what they put in their bodies. Stupid maybe, but not criminals. As for choosing an arbitrary age for "drug" use? Your guess is as good as mine.

    12) Should cigarette smoking be banned? No. But I would be thrilled if it was.

    Which brings me to two of my favorite quotes:

    "A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel." ~ Robert Frost

    "A conservative believes nothing should be done for the first time." ~ Thomas Fuller

    I think Mr. Frost and Mr. Fuller both make excellent points. I think they would have gotten along just fine.

    • "I just don’t believe the question can be framed in such a divisive manner." — Indeed. The conversation becomes quickly polarized and uncivil. Ride that fence 🙂 (And I laughed heartily at your recusement)

  4. Ok. I LOVE this. But, you knew that already.

    And, it isn't because we line up on everything. I just try to respect how other people see things. There's a lot of life experience I've never had myself, and that shapes people. We should all respect that.

    Allow me to relay a little conversation from earlier this evening. Backstory: I am going to Thailand in May for an international conference. Thailand = Buddhists. I am not ashamed to say I am a person of faith, of the Christian persuasion. However, faith issues are faith issues because we cannot prove we are right about them, and I try to neither force my faith on others nor require others to have faith. (MTM is agnostic. My parents will still argue that he cannot be my soul mate because we are unequally yoked. And, statements like those make him want to believe because……??????)

    So, we were talking over cocktails with someone tonight about visiting Thailand. This person said they did not want to do the side tours because they were too strong in their Christian faith to tour Buddhist temples………….HELLO??? I cannot WAIT to see them. What an opportunity to explore another culture, see them as they live and believe, experience their history, etc. Heck, since faith issues cannot be proven, they might even be RIGHT for all I know. I didn't have the guts to say any of these things, but I am determined to see me some Buddha now.

    • Thailand??? Holy moly your cocktail buddy is NUTTERS. I'm agnostic, and I joined Scott's church in Lexington, because, quite frankly, if you can sing to me like that choir director could, you could probably convince me to be one of those flat world people! (Not that I think Christianity is crazy like flat-world-theory, just that music makes me pretty malleable.)

      I have a number of religious sights listed HIGH on my want-to-see list. Religion spurs us to some of our most dramatic (and sometimes beautiful) heights. (Lows, too.)

  5. Brilliant answers. You would fit into Canada as an II quite nicely.

    I love Thailand, but I used to be a Catholic who had lived in Indonesia and then in Hong Kong. I would say that I was a Muslim in Indonesia, a Buddhist in Hong Kong and a Catholic at home. I stayed in Thailand but read a disturbing thing or two about the religion (organised) and its links to the villages and prostitution. It depressed me so badly that, along with a dozen wars around the world all sunk into religious dogmas, I became an maybe yes, maybe no, not really something I need to define anymore because it seems like defining it only causes heartache and pain. You know?

    Anyway, this was pretty heavy … but you managed to lighten it right up without skirting the issue so I say, Well fluffed!

  6. Umm…I hate to break it to you, but the word fluffer can have a different meaning entirely…See here for more information:

    You may or may not know about this other meaning already, but I just thought that I would let you know in any case.

    I love your blog and your sense of humor, and I had to subscribe! 🙂