Got much spam in it?

If you blog on WordPress (.com or .org) you almost certainly use Askimet to help manage your spam queue. When I changed over from the WordPress hosted .com account to the self hosted .org software, the amount of spam in that queue shot through the stratosphere. Seriously. On my .com account, I had maybe five or ten comments a day get caught in the Askimet strainer. Now? If I don’t clear that thing every eight hours, it’s into the triple digits.

But Askimet isn’t perfect. It will very rarely (exactly once since I migrated a month ago) let spam sneak in. And more commonly, it will mistake legitimate comments FOR Spam. So I have to be on the ball to avoid losing people’s remarks. And I have to be able to skim through five pages of probable spam quickly for those times when I’m not so on the ball. I’ve developed some tips and tricks to speed the process without losing any legitimate remarks, and I’m sharing them here with you today.

1)      What post was the comment on? Unless you recently reposted something old, comments on posts a few months or even weeks old can be considered spam.

  • I frequently ask, “Where did you come from and why do you give a shit just now? Why not care back when I posted?”

2)      What name does the commenter use? Some of my frequent spam fliers have monikers like Elusa, Andréia, Edmundo, Buna Amorim, mahjong solitaire gratuit, why cant I get pregnant, and http: //pwsfrap .org /.

  • I want to ask the one lady whether she has grammar issues, fertility problems, or a solution to the above involving singing monks. And yeah, I added spaces to that last username. There will be no users driven from my blog to there.

3)      Where does the username link back to?  Watch out for links that say eroticsextapedummies, budingnymphohotgirls, siearasapartments, and ojogosdomario (.com)

  • What kind of idiot do these people think I am?? Oh wait. Don’t answer that.

4)      And finally, there’s the content. Does your commenter refer to his manhood (or perhaps yours?) a little too frequently? Is the commenter so brief that nobody could possibly make any sense of the remark? (When something real gets stuck, it’s often one of these. Try to say something unique to avoid getting lost in the flow, though that’s not a guarantee of salvation.) Are there oobie-scoobies of links? Does the grammar look stilted?

  • Why yes, yes to all of these things and then more. ‘hi you have great website here with much useful informations’. Mmmhmm. ‘I just want to say i like it what you doing here, and i give good followbacks to all new friends yes?’ Sure. ‘I have been looking for these informations for so long.’ Happy hunting. ‘Your blog ranks low in Google Pages and we can fix you right up here’. Mmm, no, but I’d bet you’d like to fix YOURSELF up.

So, there you have it. A blogger’s guide to quickly managing a spam filter. If you get lost in my flow, don’t hesitate to drop me a line. I’m experimenting with various comment systems, trying to find something that doesn’t spin my visitors off into the word press spiral of login death, but which still allows me to use comment luv of some variant thereon. Right now? We’re stuck at word press.

What’s some of your favorite spam?

About jesterqueen:
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.

Comments

Got much spam in it? — 17 Comments

  1. I am very thanking you here for these insightful comments you am provided. Having just to been here before, I thought much was good but much was not and am happy that the more is gooder on these pages.
    Also, if I could to be asking, how did you getting these knowledge? I am to be taken back to my blog meatfish.wtf with these and for sharing.

    Yeah, I get em too. Great post, we’ve all been tehre. Though my two favorites so far are a comment that jsut said pornbeer(.com), and one from username TheGreatestUser, with a comment that said I am the greatest user!
    How nice to know…
    Hop over and visit El Guapo’s recent post Friday Foolishness – Blustery EditionMy Profile

    • Hahaha!!! That was great! And what’s even better is that your deliberately funny spammy wording didn’t get spammed but for reasons I can’t fathom, Andra, who has been commenting on my blog even longer than you have DID get spammed. What a world.!

  2. Careful on the older post deleting my friend! Some of us caught up to your witty banter late in the game and enjoy commenting!

    • No, I read through them! I apply all four criteria, because I don’t close down my comments and people DO sometimes comment on an old one. I’ve also got a pretty good idea of what older posts I’m promoting in one way or another, too.

  3. I meant to add to of my favorite strategies as mentioned in the above article link.

    Try out the “math comment spam protection” plugin.

    And,

    Change your comment approval settings as follows: “Comment author must have a previously approved comment”, this way you only need to check if the author is human or a bot once.

    • Good ideas all — I do everything but the math. I refuse to make people to math on my behalf. I’ve encountered that one, and I grumble when being made to do something I sincerely suck at, and at which I’m worst at the most basic levels 🙂

  4. I think some of the native personality of the country that I was born has finally managed to rub off on me, I positively bristle when some spammer has the cheek to call me ‘loved one’. Now I’m happy with love, darling and all the rest from perfect strangers but ‘loved one’ from spammers? That’s pushing it. 😉
    Hop over and visit idiosyncratic eye’s recent post WOE: Mad LibsMy Profile

  5. I wonder what sets some people to receiving more spam than others on a blog. I’ve been fortunate to keep my spam to a minimum; however that’s done… smile

  6. I’m still on .com, and Akismet works pretty well for me. Very little spam gets through it, and I don’t ever really go through what’s there to determine whether or not I have actual comments. Do they not have a similar plug-in for .org? Or, does your host have some solution? A self-hosted blog should still have options for controlling spam.
    Hop over and visit andra watkins’s recent post Remembering the Day I Made an OceanMy Profile

    • I should be clear- the stuff I’m pooling through is all in the filter. None of it makes the blog. Indeed, in a case of hilarious irony, you somehow got filtered out this round!! You were in my spam queue along with the real spammers and had to be rescued. I use Askimet, and it does an EXCELLENT job. It just has a whole lot more to catch now that I’m off .com.