Extinction is only temporary

Inside me lies a dinosaur in slumber, recumbent and half submerged. I try to keep her this way, because that terrible lizard roars destruction. But sometimes, no amount of medication can keep her from snorting to the surface, her enormous size swelling up through my skin and out my mouth. And on those days, I feel the boil. I thrash to free myself from the scalding heat. And my mania has teeth. She will seize you as gladly in her jaws as me. Or she’ll take us both down, hold us burning together until she ebbs back inside my skin.

 

This week, Velvet Verbosity is asking for 100 words on slumber. And I’m always up for a word game.


 

 

About jesterqueen:
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.

Comments

Extinction is only temporary — 38 Comments

    • See, my kids love Dinosaur Train, this inane little show that communicates dino facts by turning them into cuddly little snugglers who ride around on a time travelling train. I think a lot of people view dinosaurs like that. I think of them in much more visceral terms. Boiling monsters who would have, even the vegetarians, rent a human limb from limb, brought on with their cuts and wounds stunning infections that burned from the inside out.

  1. Jess, I love the portrait you painted of your inner rage and from what I gather you wish to part with it. Good work!

    • I sometimes look at the world and imagine what I would think if I weren't so angry. It's a strange sort of split feeling when I think that way.

  2. A poignant write on what mania/depression feels like. My brother struggles with it, and he describes it less eloquently, but with the same raging helpless feeling.
    My recent post Blow. It’s Cool.

    • The hell of bipolar is that I don't even believe in the concept of 'self control' in certain situations. I can control my actions. I cannot control my emotions, and sometimes words just pour out. I try to keep the most invective ones on paper so I don't cut down other people with them.

    • The lion's right on top. People meet the lion and think she's the dino. And then they see the dino, and many of them run. Many, many of them run. Scott didn't run. I think that's why we're married. Her claws and teeth are somehow immaterial to him, passing through without leaving a mark or a scar.

    • Yeah, music helps, but not nearly as much as hitting things. I'm trying to teach my son to hit harmless things. "OK, you need to hit and throw. I get that. Throw this. Nobody cares if you throw a bean bag. Hit this. Nobody cares if you punch out your pillow."

    • I treasure those days of feeling normal, of having my mood be baseline the whole day. Of having constant focus and not feeling the constant drag.

  3. Wonderful piece of writing. Stands so well all by itself! And just loved your frog story– you HAVE to write about that or I will! Your mom would make a great character, I"ll have to steal her!:)

    • You know, that might just be perfect for the trifecta prompt this weekend. I hadn't thought of it that way until you said something! Thanks for the inspiration.

    • Ah well. I wound up in car wrecks. I don't begrudge you the use of this story, by the way. I'd love to see where the frogs took you. I suspect we could both use it to fabulous and hilarious effect.

    • I started with a dragon, but then I realized I wanted 'terrible lizard' and that meant I needed to go dino, and dino is probably more right anyway, because dragons are mythical and this isn't.

  4. I loved the way you described something so scary so beautifully. It reminds me of my own PMS. It reminds me of times when I was taken down with someone else's dragon.

    • I hear you there. My sister's bipolar was a million times worse than mine, and yet I was the only person she ever truly feared, probably because I was so much louder than she was. (She was more violent and assumed that my bite was worse than hers because my bark sure was.)

    • Not sure, but I may have just posted to you a response to someone else. So if you see something about Schwarma, ignore it. I was trying to say that this is something I think about all the time, so the description was right there and very accessible. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending upon your perspective.

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