Down the Drain

The toilet bubbled brown, its contents unshifted by two days of intermittent plunging.  Scott aimed his snake and cranked the handle. I stood by on flood detail. A rattle and a grunt. “That’s it.” He kept twisting. Nothing happened. He shook his head and began extruding the snake. I returned the mop to the laundry room. Visions of an epic plumber’s bill scrambled through my brain. But then, “Damn it, Sam!”

“You got it!?”

“It stuck on the end of the snake.”

Scott carried out the impaled, pink tentacled squishy ball. I threw it away. “Caroline’s going to be pissed.”


“Are we getting closer” took me back to an indent in flushing, though Scott’s big line, “I think I’m getting closer, I can feel the damned thing,” was lost in revision. And  the lyric “if love is a labor” sealed the fate, because seriously, snaking the toilet is the ultimate sign of a dedicated marriage.

Sam came late to flushing. He knew HOW to flush early, but he figured out it was cool sometime this spring, and then we went through the thing most people endure between the ages of  one and three years in four accelerated months. (Hope he’s done now, knock wood.) Anyway, Caroline’s beloved squishy ball was joined by everything from a collection of marbles to the toilet-paper-roll-holder – the plastic one that you hang your roll on, not a cardboard tube – in that time. And while I completely endorse making Sam clean up his own messes, I guarantee he would have found plunging fun and made snaking destructive and even more disgusting than normal.

Anyway, it’s also been too long since I’ve sung along over at Lance’s blog, where Leeroy is on about Swing Life Away. so here you go.

About jesterqueen:
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.


Down the Drain — 14 Comments

  1. I’m still laughing, though in solidarity. I remember years ago when my then 3-year old did his business in the toilet and then threw an entire game of Tiddly Winks in with the mix. and I mean an entire game, box and all, and then tried to flush it all down. Yes, you mentioned Flood Detail…sigh
    Thanks for sharing one of those moments when laughing is all you can do.

    • A whole box of them? oh WOW what an awful and disgusting mess!! The flood must have been horrific. And yes, Abraham Lincoln is so right. If you can’t laugh, you cry.

      • Yes. It was quite a nasty mess, but to this day I wish I’d taken a photo of his face when he came to let me know. He was so fucking proud of his accomplishment he fairly glowed. Kids are such honest creatures.
        Bless you for your candid and emotional posts about your children. I love every word you put out. Thank you.

  2. Ouch! This is one of my nightmares. I’m so glad I had only one, a girl, who took no interest in flushing things that didn’t need to be flushed. So glad you had help there.

  3. I seriously do not recommend you move to a boat. That would have been sheer disaster. But at least you’d have more proof that your marriage is solid. 🙂
    Hop over and visit Marie’s recent post So HandyMy Profile

  4. Yay for my kids not putting things in the toilet that don’t belong there. That’s not to say I’m a stranger to plunging or snaking *sigh*
    Hop over and visit Eric Storch’s recent post A Gold MedalMy Profile