Trick or Treat

Laura tugged the pumpkin suit over her ample stomach. “Still fits.” She smiled at her reflection, but a triple twinge in her abdomen told her bending down had been a bad idea.

“Every pregnant lady does ‘pumpkin’ for Halloween.” Her fiancé watched from the bed.

“Only the vastly pregnant ones, Sherman.” She turned to view herself in profile and strapped on the stem-shaped hat. The twinge intensified.

“You were a pumpkin last time.”

“No I wasn’t.” Laura hated Braxton Hicks. She had been dealing with them on and off for four days now, and the last three hours had been worse. But she refused to miss her second and surely final chance to trick or treat in her pumpkin suit.

“I remember, because we’d just gotten engaged, and the ring looked glitzy in comparison to the costume.”

“If you recall, I never made it to trick or treat.” She gave him a glance above her glasses. “Besides, Shelby is three now. It’s like a whole new costume after so long.”  And we’re still engaged, and the ring is still glitzy.

“You ought to do something unique. Paint a mural on your stomach and wear a bikini.”

“No. Not just no, but hell no.” But thanks for the vote of confidence. She tossed out a wink to soften the words.

“Are you ready, Mama?” Shelby trooped in, Spiderman cape trailing behind her.

“Tell Grandma it’s time to get in the wagon.”

Shelby thundered away down the hall shouting, “Grandma, let’s go!”

Laura sat on the bed and breathed in deeply, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

“Hey.” Sherman crawled up close. “Are you…?”

“Probably.” The pain let go, and Laura stood up again. “I will not miss trick or treat. But take my bag out to the car. I’ll be ready to go as soon as we get home. I doubt Shelby lasts long this year.”

“I hope not,” Sherman rubbed his own stomach and frowned. “I sure do hope not.”

______________________________________________________________

We’re showing off our ample selves at Trifecta this week.

This post is dedicated to the real Laura, who was sixteen and pregnant a lifetime ago at Chatfield College. I don’t know where you are now, but you were a wonderful friend, and I have never forgotten you or your adorable pumpkin costume sitting in the computer lab.

About jesterqueen:
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.

Comments

Trick or Treat — 31 Comments

    • That line cracked me up too. And, dude, it’s COLD at Halloween! Bikinis are right out, at least around here. I love her determination to wear the suit.

      I think for a guy, “fiance” should only have one E?
      Hop over and visit Annabelle’s recent post Trifecta: AmpleMy Profile

      • AH – I never realized the difference between the two spellings. I thought it was just one of those words where both spellings were acceptable. Very cool to know, and I shall fix it post-haste.

    • Haha! Totally. I got the line from one of their teachers. She was NOT talking to the kids at the time, but she turned it into a ‘thing’ at the school, where EVERYBODY said it for awhile. And she was the sweetest, non-sweariest person ever, which made it all the more delicious to quote.

    • Yeah, I hate my boobs. They’re ample .Ample and ample again. I could totally give breast donations to three or more others without losing a C cup. I lost fifty pounds once and gained two cup sizes .I’m at 30 pounds so far on this round of baby weight (um, the baby is five) and I’ve already gained a cup size. Not. Supposed. To. Work. That. Way. Anyway, I couldn’t stand to have ample cleavage hanging around my blog in anything but an angry sarcastic way.

    • Thanks! I am strongly in favor of writing about the small moments. I don’t want to make every story into a drama laced roller coaster ride. Rather, I want to be able to make everyday things feel compelling. So I take your comment as the highest of compliments.

  1. Love it. Love Halloween and love pregnant women pretending they’re not in labor because what they’re about to do is way more fun than pushing out a baby. I did that once–went out to a fancy dinner with contractions five minutes apart. Must. Have. Fancy. Dinner.

    Nice work. Can’t wait to see what Halloween tales await us!

    • I am like that exactly. I went to the baby shower, I went and picked strawberries, and I hoisted my three year old over my head. Must have LIFE. You are not DUE YET.

      Yeah. I got to the hospital half an hour before I crowned.

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