A Valentine to My True Love

Scott Val DayIn 2003, you got me candy for Valentine’s Day. We barely knew I was pregnant. Well, we barely “knew knew”. You’d been listening to me bitch that I couldn’t possibly be pregnant for over a month, but because you are kind, you took me at my word instead of my opposite. So things had only been formal for a week or two.

The chocolate rose you gave me sat on my desk untouched. I wanted to eat it. My God, I’d married a man who thought I deserved holiday treats. We’d been dating just shy of four years, we’d been married sixteen months, and I was still gobsmacked by the sight of your stubbly cheeks every morning. Do you know how stupid  I thought marriage was before you? Yes, of course you do. You’ve heard me say it often enough. But no, really you don’t know, or I think you’d have run headlong far away. You, who hate change, have no idea what you have wrought in me.

And I wanted to show you how I appreciated you. I wanted you to know what it meant that you gave me chocolate. But I was already captive to morning sickness, and so it sat as far from me as I could push it and still keep it on my desk. Just the sight made my gut clench. The smell made me gag outright.

It was a chocolate rose. I can’t remember, but I think it even had a chocolate stem. And it smelled strongly. (Everything stank when I was pregnant.) In July, when the constant nausea (‘morning’ sickness is such a misnomer) abated, I finally unwrapped it. I bit off one chocolate leaf, but immediately spat it into my hand and barely made the toilet before I ralphed. Caroline, who loves chocolate, hated it in utero. (Sam, who allowed me to eat it copiously while I was pregnant, now hates it. Small ironies.) After Caroline was born, I suddenly craved the stuff. When we got home from the hospital, I found that half eaten rose on my desk and gobbled it. Stale chocolate never tasted so sweet.

We go more for intangibles these days. Chocolate would be cruel in a year when both of us are dieting, and, quite frankly, apple exchanges are only fun if there’s bobbing involved. True love has always been about kindness and stability, and you offer me both every single day. I’m happy to cuddle you and watch the kids gorge on sugar. I wish their teachers the joy of them. Sam has already got a bad attitude this morning. You and I will spend the day busily doing other things, and that’s good. But I wanted to take a minute this morning to ask you something important.

Dear Scott, I love you. Will you be my Valentine?


Love, Jessie

About jesterqueen:
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.


A Valentine to My True Love — 9 Comments

  1. I don’t like this holiday..it goes back to me having to “Share’ this birthday month of mine with a day of love and my history of boyfriends (EX BOYFRIENDS obviously) that thought they could give me a gift and say..”This is your birthday and Valentine’s Day gift”.

    here’s what I love about you and your Valentine, there’s no bullshit, your relationship is real, your relationship is enviable.

    and I love how you thought about marriage before Scott..I was the same way. I said I wanted to be married, but deep down, until I met John, I knew it wasn’t for me. I get that and I also get how having someone KNOW YOu..having someone LOVE you just like you are..is a gift.

    happy Valentine’s Day you two…MUSHY HUGS AND KISSES TOO. xo
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  2. Tis sweet. If I weren’t a crusty old curmudgeon I’d say something warm and touching. Anyway, have you ever considered a cucumber exchange instead? Very low cal – and can be winsome fun!
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  3. Love this. So sweet and beautifully written. I like it much better than all the kitschy, obligatory Valentine’s Day posts out there today. Thank you. 🙂

  4. Every time I read about you and Scott, I get the chills – because you guys seem to love each other in the purest way possible. I love that first date post – when you took a friend? That was the best. Happy day to the 2 of you!
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