Yesterday was my first run. As anyone who knows me might expect, I hated it. But once The Bitch has an idea stuck in her craw, it’s only a matter of time until she starts to piss me off with it. In this case, she opted for sooner, rather than later.
First of all, knowing that past runs have left me with pain in my back and knees, I took some precautions this time around. I went out and bought running shoes at a cost of $48 before tax. For someone who never buys shoes, that’s a fortune. I gasp when I have to pay $20 for my kids’.… Read the rest
I talk to myself. Most of us do. But me, I answer back, argue, and have entire animated conversations, usually at a mutter, that can’t be disguised as cell phone calls. If you’re ever in an intense debate with me, or Godhelpyou an argument
, my lips will be moving the entire time, even when you’re speaking, giving the alarming impression that I already knew what you were going to say. (I didn’t. I was just working out my own response while you said it.)
Lately, all my internal dialogues have been about aerobics. Those classes make me self conscious, especially the “dance party” atrocities, where the instructors act like we’re at boot camp. … Read the rest