Phantoms

After

After

The pain relief was immediate. I woke up from surgery, and even though my nipples were on fire, I couldn’t sense the nerve where my shoulder connects to my neck. I’ve known that joint by heart for years now. I had reached the point where I thought it didn’t hurt when I simply knew where the junction was, as opposed to feeling pain radiate outward from it. Even the chest fire was mild by comparison, the sort of pain I used to associate with nursing, intense cold, and drastic hormone shifts.

But, as with any surgery, breast reduction came with a few unexpected complications, the largest of these involving physical sensations.… Read the rest

Stages of a relationship

Our relationships are delicate things, fragile and in need of constant repair. Put enough strain on love, and quite often, it breaks. If it doesn’t break, though, if, in fact, it survives, then it often collides directly with the next strain. Any of the situations described below could be used to describe The End for a couple. Of course, these situations could also highlight the ways in which humor can shelter a love through stress. But we would know nothing of that here, would we?

Dating

It’s not you, it’s me

_________________________

Marriage

It’s not me, it’s you

_________________________

Therapy

It’s not you, it’s us

_________________________

Kids

It’s not us, it’s them.

Read the rest

Rainbow Flag

For a number of reasons that will be dealt with later, I’ve been under an unusual amount of stress lately. The raw effect of this for my family is that I’m more short tempered than normal, and much less tolerant of my kids’ perfectly normal (if perfectly obnoxious) behavior. My students can’t see me in person, so they don’t experience my deep sighs when they ask questions with answers I consider obvious. Unlike my kids and husband, they never receive responses like, “I don’t fucking know. Jesus Christ, do I look like the Dali Lama?” To keep these moments to a minimum, I’ve been letting the Jester Queen have a bit more free rein.… Read the rest

Me, Myself, and I

Since yesterday’s entry was about my son, I ought to make today be about my daughter. However, narcissism has stepped in after all, and I am, instead, introducing my alter egos. I have several, and each serves a distinct purpose in my life.


The Jester Queen

First up is the woman who writes this blog and generally serves as my online personality. Everyone give a big hello to The Jester Queen. The Jester Queen is bluntly honest, sometimes funny, and always entirely too self-aware. The character originated in a short story and Halloween costume, and her name solidified after I got married.… Read the rest