Friday was one of those mornings at our house. Caroline couldn’t find shorts, Sam wanted me to play balloon-bounce with him, the dog was in the kitchen stealing bagels every time I left the room, and Scott and I just wanted caffeine. But school needed notes about the field trip (yes, we could drive; we were both coming; we could carry three including our own; and we would buy popcorn for all seventy five or so would-be bowlers so Sam would have a snack), we had to put a cooler out for the co-op, and Caroline snacked on half the things we meant to send in her lunch. … Read the rest
And this is the place
In the soul shaken darkness
Where I find my son
I went to my favorite writer’s conference last weekend. Killer Nashville was incredible, as always, and I came away with new insights, new friends, and a few things that I completely didn’t expect. I’m sure I’ll talk about those things at some point.
The day before that, I took Sam to one of the myriad of doctor’s appointments that dot his schedule and left so soul-shaken that I thought I wouldn’t be able to drive to Nashville. Again, I’m sure I’ll talk about it here at some point, but I’m not ready yet.… Read the rest
“Mom, I need your help.” Sam leaned halfway out of the car, his belt still fastened, his body in almost no way restrained by it.
“What honey? Can’t you see Mommy is putting on her shoes?” I hated the accidental third person. I wouldn’t have said, “Can’t you see Jessie is putting on her shoes”. And my kids haven’t referred to themselves in the third person in years, so I can’t claim I’m echoing them when I morph into the person I call “Mommy is”. She usually comes with a slice of “Can’t you see she’s” followed by any number of activities.… Read the rest
We play a lot of Lego Star Wars in our house. I recently restarted the whole game in a new save slot in a vain attempt to have my OWN game. It was quickly taken over by the children, who are having fun getting back all of the extras that come with each level. The most important extras to have, for those of you who live under rocks, are the score multipliers. There’s a 2x, 4x, 6x, all the way up to 10x. I spent about a week getting the two million five hundred thousand studs (Lego coinage) needed to buy the doubler.… Read the rest
My kids’ Christmas party was yesterday. It’s the first time I’ve been to their school since the Sandy Hook tragedy. In the lobby, one mother asked if the front desk could have a panic button installed, just in case. The secretary, whose son also attends the school, agreed it would be a good idea. I’m not typically given to worry about the grand scheme. You want small scale frets? I have them in plenty. Conspiracy theories? I’m your woman. But the big stuff doesn’t usually bother me.
My kids were with me on Friday, December 14. It was my birthday, and the opening night of the Nutcracker, in which they both performed.… Read the rest
“Sam, get back in this house right now. We do not go outdoors naked.” I stagger-stuffed my legs into jeans as I pelted out onto the back patio. “Jesus Christ it’s cold.” I turned around and went back for something to put on my feet.
“Told you.” Scott was lacing up his own shoes.
We went back out together. Sam poked his penis through the tree house slats and shook it at us. “Wanker!”
“Oh God, I thought the ‘wanker’ phase was over.” I stalked to the base of the tree. “You’re going to get splinters if you keep that there.”
I could feel Scott’s eyes on my back.… Read the rest
The ballet culminates in the lieutenant general’s return to his family. Before he goes, he touches his son’s face in wonder, and when he saves himself and returns, he hoists the child up on one shoulder.
My son plays that child.
Dressed in a white button-down shirt and khaki shorts, he wears an expression of solemn focus for the ballet’s duration. I have seen him do it five times now, two dress rehearsals and three productions. The last show, the one in a company studio in Mississippi, was the only one I could control my weeping enough to get pictures.
Any week I can play with Leeroy can’t be ALL bad, and since he let me pick this week’s song, ZZ Topp’s sharp dressed man, I have to say I am tickled pink.… Read the rest
“If Sonic keeps hitting, he’ll have to sit with me.”
“No!” The hedgehog took another swipe at Caroline.
“Sonic, we need to talk about control.” I plucked the toy out of Sam’s arms and hugged it close. Sam roared and leapt, trying to steal it back.
Scott offered, “At least he’s quit hitting.”
“This weekend was incredible. He had to come down sometime.” Sam held up one hand but didn’t jump again.
“Did he have to crash?”
“That’s the real question, isn’t it?” I returned Sonic and waited to see if Sam would continue using his toy as a weapon.
I have missed Leeroy, Lance’s robot assistant over at the 100 Word Song.… Read the rest
Sam Part I,
Sam Part II,
Beauty and the Beast
Sam Part III
Sam Part IV
Chris Martin’s voice permeated the studio, singing a lullaby straight to my son. “I will try to fix you. Lights will guide you home.” Sam’s part hadn’t even started yet, but I was already dabbing my cheeks.
The danseur playing the lieutenant general sat to one side in a chair. His ballerina wife threw herself forward in grief. And then the youth ballet corps rose up and pantomimed flying, flashlights aloft, bringing an imaginary man home to a family he didn’t know.… Read the rest