A morning in the day of the life

“Sam, get back in this house right now. We do not go outdoors naked.” I stagger-stuffed my legs into jeans as I pelted out onto the back patio. “Jesus Christ it’s cold.” I turned around and went back for something to put on my feet.

“Told you.” Scott was lacing up his own shoes.

We went back out together. Sam poked his penis through the tree house slats and shook it at us. “Wanker!”

“Oh God, I thought the ‘wanker’ phase was over.”  I stalked to the base of the tree. “You’re going to get splinters if you keep that there.”

I could feel Scott’s eyes on my back.… Read the rest

Parenthood (It’s All Greek To Me)

Everybody, please remember to vote for me over at http://neilgaiman.bookperk.com/engine/Details.aspx?p=A&c=29933&s=7776799&i=1. I want to meet Neil Gaiman! But if all I do is talk about my obsession, this blog will get narcissistic fast. And I’d like to imagine that even though the blog is entirely about me, it can be about something besides my self-love.  I thought, therefore, that you might like to meet the family. Today, let me introduce Sam, my three going-on-four-year old son. Let me introduce him, and let me introduce his favorite body part.

Yes, that’s right, folks. Today’s topic will be the almighty penis. The phallus.… Read the rest