OK folks, it’s time for another edition of Friday Fluff, where grown-ups fill out questionnaires written by misspelling grammar-ignoring teens. This one taken from here: and written by someone named LoLgUrLiE.

Before I get started, I’d just like to take a moment to discuss that username. You might suggest that someone with a handle like Jester Queen might want to shut her yap about what others decide to call themselves. If so, I would suggest that you shut the fuck up. Now. Let’s parse this out: LoLgUrLiE. I’m going to add spacing to make this a bit easier. LoL g Ur LiE or LOL gUrLiE. NOW do you see what I see? Yes, that’s right. It’s a TRUTH Quiz by Laughing Out Loud Gee You Are Lie. Or possibly Laughing Out Loud Girlie. In either case, LoLgUrLiE clearly doesn’t spell much or grammar often. That said, I detect only one outright misspelling in the bit of fluff below. Points.

Now, ON TO THE QUIZ:

30 Tell The Truth Questions Survey

Do you have a crush right now?
No, but I used to LOVE Orange Crush. So much so, that when Scott and I first started dating, we would exchange these silly e-mails. In one, I wrote “I have a crush on you.” He replied “Grape?” and I shot back “Orange” without even thinking about it.

What is your favorite color?
Asked and answered

What about your favorite animal?
Kittehs

Choose one … 😉 =) >:D :-{D
MASH or MARSH?

Did you ever have an F on your report card?
Grade school, yes.
Undergrad, no.
And I got a C in Grad School, which is the same thing as an F, only without the stigma of actual failure attached to it.

What about straight A’s
4.0 for most of my undergrad.

If you could go back in time and change one thing that you did, what would it be?
Go read Desmond Warzel’s Wikihistory. Go on.

Now ask me that again COWBOY. (or Gurlie)

Do you enjoy singing?
Very much

If so, has anyone ever told you that you can sing well?
Yes, but I’m very self conscious about it, possibly because I grew up with a singer parent.

Again…Choose one…<> , * , @(^_^)@
OK, right. MARSH. Now, I’m going to need the names of five boys you know, four numbers between 1 and 10, three jobs [no Lisa, you may not list ‘hand’. I mean jobs like careers], and eight emoticons. Then, I’m going to draw this spiral … no peeking … and you tell me when to stop.

Are you listening to music right now?
No. But good idea.

If so, what song are you listening to?
I just said “no”.

If not, what song do you WANT to be listening to?
Travelling WIlburys “End of the Line”

What is your favorite subject in school?
I am no longer a student. But I teach college English. So I’ll give you one guess.

What is the month of your birthday?
This sentence is in what I call the extreme passive voice. Instead of just going for a standard passive voice with “What month is your birthday?” you have opted for a form of “to be” and an “of” clause. Extreme. I’m sorry, what was the question again?

Do you like country music?
Some, especially bluegrass, Johnny Cash, Roseanne Cash, and Emmylou Harris.

What about rock?
I breathe rock. (That’s yes.)

….rap?
“…” What an interesting way to avoid ditto marks. What an unusual way to dodge the implied subject and just write “Rap?”. And not as much as the other two, but some.

If you had to eat one fruit for a month straight…what would it be? oranges, bananas, grapes, apples, or kiwi? (or other)
Did you just raid your mother’s fruit cabinet to ask that question? “Gee, what’s Mom got on hand. Let’s see. OK, that’s what I’ll put in the quiz, but I’ll throw in kiwi to make it look all creative and stuff.”
Blueberries.

Do you like roses or tulips better?
Blueberries

QUICK THINK OF A NAME!!!
Galadriel

Was the name that you just thought of a member of your family?
No, but I wish she was. She would give some kickass holiday gifts.
“Mom, check out this phial Auntie Galadriel gave me!”
“That’s nice dear, as long as it was the real Auntie Galadriel and not the one played by Kate Winslet.”

What about a close friend?
Nope.

Ok…what about your crush?
I already told you. My Crush is Orange, and I haven’t had any for ages.

Do you watch SpongeBob?
Eh. Rarely. Sam likes it. Caroline is terrified of Patrick. And I prefer it oh so much to that fucked up Phineas and Ferb.

What is the name of your best friend?
Scott
But. In the spirit of the question, I’ll give you the names of my best friends I don’t have sex with.
I used to have three: Jenny, Genie, and Rachel.
Now I have four: Jenny, Genie, Rachel, and Linda

Do you like fish or chicken more?
Depends on the variety of fish, but usually fish.

Are you a vegatarian?
No. And I’m not a vegetarian either.

What about your steak…Rare, Medium, or Well done (for me … well done :P)
Still Mooing. But. Let’s assume I had answered “Yes” to the vegetarian question above (assuming a vegatarian eats the same things as a vegetarian, which is to say little or no meat)? HOW THE HELL WOULD I ANSWER THIS QUESTION? “Yes, I like my Portabella Steaks Well Done?” Good God Gurlie, you need to THINK these things through.

Did you like this random survey?
Honestly? I’ve been pondering the best answers all week. If I were answering this for realz, I wouldn’t like it at all. But as Fluff material goes, it’s a gold mine.

Last thing…..Pick a # out of these… 1,2,4,7,14
Well, assuming that I can adjust punctuation to my choosing, 12/14. Happy Birthday to me.

Hey. Somebody just said it was my birthday.

I get alcohol on that day.

KEG PARTY!!!

Don’t forget to fill out some fluff of your own and hook up with Lisa over at Seeking Elevation. [Lisa. I keep calling you Susan today. I have NO idea why.].  Next week, we’re doing This one.

About jesterqueen: Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.