Until about ten minutes ago, my day was slow, and it was looking like I might have to go deal with the disgusting mess that is my bathroom. I watched a bug die on my desk.

He’s a Mayfly or some other thing, not a giant mosquito. They only live about 24 hours, and he appeared to be nearing the end of his time. He pulled himself along the mess, shakily sticking out one feeler like an old man with a cane, then pulling himself forward. I didn’t have the heart to scoop him up and pitch him out in the rain while he was still alive. He kept flopping upside down, and I would think, “OK, this is it.” But he’d right himself and creep on.

Then, he finally stopped flipping and feeling, so I put him outside. His tragic little drama played out, I thought I would have to go do actual work.

But then the awesome happened.

Lisa said that, in her temporary absence (she’ll be back tomorrow) I could host the Friday Fluff linkup. Holy Big Guns! She didn’t have to offer twice! (And I didn’t want to give her time to rethink.)  SO here we go, the first (and probably only) Jesterhosted Friday Fluff begins here.  (And to be clear, Lisa will go back to hosting her meme next week.) I’ve just been given a HUGE fluffy honor this week. Fluffers, let’s get busy!  This week’s questions come from here, and they beg for frivolity. (Lisa says next week, we get to get our panties in a wad over this one.)

WOULD YOU RATHER….

Be a poison tester or suicide bomber?

Wow!  starting things off heavy, no? Clearly, I’d rather eat poison than bomb people. If I test poison, I die. If I suicide bomb, I still die, but so do a bunch of innocent people. I’m not sure that was much of a fun fluffy question at all.

Fat and short or fat and tall

I notice that after that first one, you grew allergic to question marks. Maybe they were too tall for you. Perhaps they put on too much weight.

Wet and cold or dry and hot

Ugh. Neither. Hot and wet is the only appropriate fluffer answer, of course.

Vampire or a cat

Vampire cat. Sounds like a spin-off from a James and Deborah Howe story.

Be george lopez or brad pitt

Who is George Lopez? Is he a character in Handy Manny? Oh GOD I hate that show. At my hell job, I worked with this controlling asswipe who just lu-huved it when clients called him “Manny”. What a creep.

Eat sand or dirt

Having eaten both, I guess Sand. I can pretend its salt, and it’s the one I’m realistically more likely to get in my mouth next, as we go to the beach for a day at the end of this month.

Be 30 or 1

30. One was helpless and boring. Or I could be 31. These questions lend themselves to combinations.

Pro skater boarder or singer

If you hold onto the ‘r’ in Skaterrr boarrrrrderrrrr, you sound really stoned or else a really bad pirate. So I guess singerrr, because there’s only one “rrrr”.

Eat metal or bugs

Metal. As long as I didn’t have to chew. Although, realistically, I have swallowed bugs before. However, none in my sleep.

Be a monkey or wolf man

I will assume that’s “monkey man”. And neither. I am WOMAN hear me ROAR. Or see me type it or whatever.

Work at google or bing

Google. They may be getting into the irritating category with the tracking and shit, but they still aren’t at the level of Microsoft.

Make a board game or video game

Video. More money. Duhh.

Mini cooper or mustang

Neither. I’ve never seen the appeal of a muscle car. And while minis are cute, I’m not going to be in a category that would even maybe allow one for the next decade at least. There are four people in my house. Two of them require a mountain of teddy bears to get out the doors in the morning. I am not strapping that shizz to my roof people.

Dead or alive

Singer or actor

Actor. I’ve never had a lot of singing confidence, and singers are all the time touring.

 

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OK, get ready, here’s your linky – hope everybody is willing to play over here!

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1.	Dawnie	2.	Seeking Elevation	3.	Michy
4.	Amelia	5.	Joules	6.	karen's b'day fluff
7.	Megan	8.	Rachel	9.	Weissdorn

( Collection closed )
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About jesterqueen: Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order.