She held her sisters in her hands, Jeanine in the left, Tina in the right.
Jeanine, nine, saluted. Above her green Girl Scout uniform, her arm lay bare in the glare of too bright sun. Tina wore a bikini and held a beer. Her exposed wrist flesh seemed far more vulgar to Lucia than the way her breasts threatened to explode out of the stringy top.
Lucia brought the pictures together and took them apart again. She put Tina on top and touched her slick mouth. Then she reversed them, Jeanine above, Tina below. She tapped the forehead Jeanine was using for her salute. She looked back at the door.
Three quick raps against the steel, and Lucia stood. She put her sisters on her coffee table, then picked Jeanine up again, leaving Tina alone with her beer in photographic forever. Lucia collected her suitcase and let herself out. In the empty house, the phone rang to life once more.
Her brother-in-law took her bag. “Are you ready to bring her home?” She followed Kallum down the walk to his waiting car.
He shrugged. “I don’t know what to do if it happens again.”
“You’ll have me. Between the two of us, she won’t ever be alone. Not even in the bathroom. Especially not in the bathroom. It won’t happen again.”
They got in the car, and Lucia rested Jeanine’s picture on the center console. Kallum touched his wife’s forehead, just as Lucia had touched it earlier. He turned the ignition, then the wheel. They drove together towards the life they already held stretched between them.
__________________________________________________________
We’re painting those red doors BLACK this week at Trifecta
For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, Laura gave me this prompt: I wanted my life to start – but in those rare moments when it seemed like something might actually change, panic shot through me.’ –Curtis Sittenfeld.
I gave Michael this prompt: Cold air blew in from the front of the house, and I knew before I went into the kitchen that the door had been open all night.
Jessie Powell is the Jester Queen. She likes to tell you about her dog, her kids, her fiction, and her blog, but not necessarily in that order. |
I had to read it again to really follow it. Then I remembered your previous piece with the suicide and I made the connection.
Black indeed
Hop over and visit Carrie’s recent post Overheard
Muahahaha
Wow. Dark. Which is not surprising. This one really hit me.
Hop over and visit Andra Watkins’s recent post I’m a Booth Babe
Yay! that’s exactly the impact I was hoping for.
What a beautiful and terrible emotional portrait of Lucia. I love how you took your time with all the little motions – you put us in her head without actually telling us what she was thinking. Brilliant!
Hop over and visit Christine’s recent post Cinders Like Scales
Yeep! I just realized I left a sentence out. The first two ‘blacks’ are adjectives. I had to put back in the third one!
Sharp portraits. Wow, and packed with emotions. Interesting reference with the wrists being vulnerable and exposed, only picked up on that as I wrote this comment. =-P
So nice to be reading your well-crafted work again.
Hop over and visit karen’s recent post Trifecta, Week (Holy Cow) 47 — Black
Thanks Karen! I’ve really missed yours, too!!
Once again, I am in awe of how you do not waste one word. You write with a surgical precision that I am envious of.
I admit, I was also confused about the wrist thing, but got it when they mentioned the bathroom.
Hop over and visit Eric Storch’s recent post The Reluctant Corpse
Glad that came through! It’s also a followup piece to Trifecta from two weeks ago, but I didn’t link back because I wanted it to stand on its own.
I like the details about the photos. Very telling and poignant. I felt like I was holding my breath while I read this.
Hop over and visit Tara R.’s recent post Your look mah-velous
Thanks Tara! I wanted the tension about Lucia’s potential mental health to leave people uneasy.
She’ll have to be alone sooner or later, and she’ll have to decide for herself what she’ll do with that time. Strong emotional impact. Well done.
Hop over and visit I, Rodius’s recent post Broken Glass, Revisited
You’re absolutely right – the question becomes whether she can regain her mental health to the point that she won’t do it again once Lucia goes home, Kallum goes back to work, and she’s on her own again.
I’m so glad she didn’t die. I made the connection further down. I remember reading this a few weeks ago. Great continuation.
Thanks! I didn’t link it because I wanted the piece to stand alone, but it’s very much a Kallum/Jeanine sequel.
I loved her behavior with the photos, touching them, putting them one on top of the other. I wondered about the wrist, and then got it when you mentioned the bathroom. The details are superb – the girl scout uniform, the bikini and a beer. Nicely done.
Hop over and visit Stephanie B. (@B4Steph)’s recent post Who are We?
Yay! I wanted the mention to stick out, which was why I said “vulgar”. Glad it had exactly the right impact.
This is great – The details with the pictures are amazing, most especially the exposed wrist.
Yay! I was actually thinking about your piece with the Dad and how you told the whole fucking story with that ONE word. It’s a technique I’ve been toying with, and I felt like you gave me a real key with your story.
To be honest, I was afraid of posting that piece. Glad it worked for you.
Hop over and visit kgwaite’s recent post Discarded
Very touching and moving.
Thanks Draug!
dressed in black was perfect for the tone of this piece. it makes me, though, wonder about the sister she left behind. nonetheless, good write.
I didn’t link it, because this one stands on its own, but this is a continuation from here — http://jesterqueen.com/2012/10/01/on-the-cutting-room-floor/ — where Tina is the motivation for Jeanine’s suicide attempt. In this one, it’s a little (lot?) more subtle. The wrist is vulgar to Lucia, and she leaves Tina on the coffee table with her beer forever, like she’s frozen there.
i see the connection now.
Beautifully and sensitively written. I care about these people.
Yay! I’m glad you like it 🙂
I’m starting to think I should’ve had a much stronger drink in front of me for the reading of these Trifecta submissions. (Which is not an insult, in any way.) Yes, not in the bathroom. Definitely not in the bathroom.
Thanks for linking up.
Hop over and visit Trifecta’s recent post Trifecta: Week Forty-Seven
We were intense this week, weren’t we?
Very nice! A bit confused as to whether Tina died and she’s worried about Jeanine following in her footsteps or if Tina’s was a failed attempt? Either way it was entertaining. 🙂
Hop over and visit Flippa Bird’s recent post 25 More Years.
You nailed it. Jeanine was following in Tina’s footsteps, but it didn’t work. The backstory is here http://jesterqueen.com/2012/10/01/on-the-cutting-room-floor/ — but I didn’t link it up because I wanted this one to stand on its own.
Love your characters.
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Worried about Tina at the end. Will go read the previous one (hiding eyes behind fingers).